I Used To Curse

There’s a phrase that creeps up on you as you age, it invades your mind and your vocabulary as stealthily as a lice infestation coming home with one of your kids after the one time you let them go to a sleep over. Everyone says it, like it’ s a right of passage on our way to retirement or death whichever one comes first. There is even a mention of it in popular US television show, “Modern Family.’  Jay the older semi-retired step father is playing pool with the vagabond biological dad, Javier, and he sees a photo of Jay and a motorcycle.

 Javier asks, “Do you ride?”

 Jay says, “I used to.”

There it is. I used to.

You know what I’m talking about. You’ve thought or said it yourself. There are many I used tos for me. I used to be a writer. I used to be healthy. I used to work out. I used to walk. I used to play basketball. I used to be an author. I used to be religious. The list can go on. Only I actually have been picking up some of these again. While others I have no desire to pursue. Instead they have changed. Like instead of religious I am spiritual. But some I’ve embraced whole heartedly.

I am healthy. I work out. I walk at least three times a week. That’s the beautiful thing about I used to there’s no expiration date about when you can quit using it. The domino effect of letting go of I used to and picking up , I am, is you can’t stop with just one. You keep going. Which is what brought us here dear reader. I no longer want to say or think things like, I used to be a writer. I am a writer just feels so much better. That’s its I’m a writer. No additional expectation or goal is around it. I am writer and so therefore I write.

By not putting any more expectations or goals on the phrase I create the possibility for endless opportunities by just being a writer. And really isn't that the saddest part of the phrase, I used to. It is the ending of the possibility. Well I'm more interested in what I am and not what I used to be.

Won't you join me? What's your used to?

Briana